I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
