I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
