i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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