I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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