Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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