I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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