R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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