Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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