Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
