It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
