I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
