i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
