The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
They have beer where we have blood.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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