I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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