You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
