Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
