You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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