I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
