I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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