she looked like the bat from fern gully.
honey bunches of taint.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
