we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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