After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
