just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
