i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Enjoy the penises
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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