HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
