I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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