i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
