Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
