Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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