bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
