I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
