we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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