Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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