just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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