the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
