Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it glows. i had to have it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Panties = found
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