Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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