Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
