4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
