So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
