...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
there is glitter all over my balls
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
