he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
