No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
