I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Randomize
