dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize