Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
