You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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