You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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