So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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