Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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