Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
